Lines To Never Allow Your Partner Cross During Divorce

Nearly all divorces have some level of conflict, but some spawn so much chaos that life grows unmanageable. According to our collaborative law attorney in Orlando, high-conflict personalities act intensely, and some think that rules don't apply to them. Read on to learn the lines never to allow your partner to cross during a divorce — and how to react to inappropriate behavior.

Verbal Abuse

Electronic communication provides an irate ex unfettered access to you: blowing up your cell phone with malicious texts and voicemails and flooding your inbox with condescending emails. Being tormented 24/7 can leave you feeling exhausted, frightened, and always waiting for the next attack.

Solution:

• Read and reply to emails no more than once per day.
• Draw the line on persistent texting by temporarily barring their number and communicating only through email.
• Never attempt to defend yourself or reason with your ex; no matter what madness they hurl your way, cling to the facts and be as straightforward as possible.

Emotional and Physical Abuse

Aggressive communication crosses the line into abuse when an ex threatens you, bullies you into consenting to demands, shames or harasses you on social media, stalks you, or even commits physical harm.

Solution:

• Keep narratives of what is said, as well as problematic behaviors. You will need proof to demonstrate that their behavior rises to the level of harassment and might be grounds for an order of protection.

Weaponizing the kids

High-conflict personalities frequently use children as pawns by bad-mouthing you, convincing them to spy on you, and persuading them that they don't have to follow your rules. As a result, vulnerable kids may accept the propaganda that you are a bad parent and become unruly or reject visitation.

Solution:

• Don't let your ex see that you're bitter (this is their preferred effect!), or attempt to persuade them to change their actions (they'll simply dig in their heels and become more aggressive). Instead, devise a strategy to oppose the alienating behavior. Calmly demonstrate your side of the story (without dissing your ex) and instruct your kids on critical thinking skills so they can learn to think for themselves.

Violating court orders

If your ex behaves as if they're outside the law, they might play games with a court order. Examples include:

• Mailing only partial alimony or child support or sending it late (or not at all)
• Refusing to stick to your parenting time plan
• Disregarding orders around communication
• And, in the circumstance of shared legal custody, making unilateral determinations for the kids' education and medical care.

Solution:

• Don't permit your ex to have their way in order to bypass conflict. The divorce agreement is a lawfully binding contract, so take steps to enforce it. Remember to document their violations and consult your attorney.

While you might resent constantly setting limits with your unruly ex, demonstrating consequences for crossed lines will keep you from turning into a doormat and bring order back to your life.

Contact us today for a family and collaborative law attorney in Orlando.